Secret
by elle.writes
Summary: While she couldn't see Duo's face or what he said she could see Heero's face gradually becoming more relaxed and that, at least, offered her some happiness as she started the car. Maybe she couldn't be with Heero, but she could at least protect him and keep his secret.


Title: Secret

Author: ELLE

Pairings/Warnings: 1xD, 2xR, 1x2, Relena's POV, high school AU, language, implied sexual content, underage drinking

Notes: I believe I posted this on my tumblr years ago so it may seem familiar. I'm attempting to go through old fic and edit, finish, or post what I find. (Yes, this means if I finish _Hard to Say_ , which I do intend to do at some point, I will repost the whole of it lol.) The bulk of this is based on my own personal experience – though I'm loath to admit which experiences or how personal they were. ;-P I'll leave that up to your imagination, ha!

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The warm glow from the house and the raucous surrounding it combined in a way that was almost becoming comforting to Relena despite the nervous flutter of anticipation in her stomach. She grasped her boyfriend's hand and he smiled down at her with that big easy grin of his, genuine excitement written all over his face. If there was one thing about dating Duo Maxwell that shouldn't be underestimated, it was how wonderful he could make you feel with a single look. He wasn't the guy Relena really wanted to be dating and she knew she wasn't in love with him, but that didn't diminish the fun they had together despite the circumstances.

"Ready Miss Relena?" he asked, teasing, and she grinned back.

"I think so. Looks like Dorothy and Heero are already here," she replied, nodding in the direction of Heero's car.

They walked into the more than familiar house hand in hand and back to the kitchen where they were immediately bombarded by excited greetings. Dorothy came up and hugged them both while Heero held their drinks, always so gentlemanly, and the small smile he offered by way of greeting made Relena's knees feel weak. It really wasn't fair to feel this way about him when she had a perfectly lovely, popular, outgoing and fun boyfriend of her own.

"I'll make you a drink," Heero offered Duo as Dorothy took back her ubiquitous Solo cup and Duo laughed in reply.

"You mean you'll pour me about six shots of vodka with a spike of orange juice?" Duo returned with a friendly punch to the arm. "Yeah I don't think so."

Heero scowled. He loved to brag about his abilities as a bartender but even Relena was forced to admit, he wasn't really very good.

But before any more words were exchanged a flurry of enthusiasm descended upon them as arms were wrapped around Duo's neck and jubilations rained down on them.

"Can't believe you caught that pass with five fucking seconds left on the clock!" It was Alex, the team's noseguard.

"I think the only reason you were able to make it down field so fast was the shock that anyone could've caught such a shitty pass," Trowa agreed with a bemused smirk as he handed both Duo and Relena bottles of hard cider.

"Aw come on now," Duo argued in Heero's defense though Heero growled a little under his breath, stealing the unlit cigar Trowa was holding right out of his hand in retaliation for the attack on his skills as a QB. "Heero inspired me to step up my game with that amazing play third quarter!"

There was no need to specify what play Duo meant as Heero managed to cover thirty yards for a touchdown after practically crossing the field to avoid getting sacked. He was damn fast. Probably would've been better as a running back, Relena mused, but for that amazing aim of his.

"What other high school QB coulda pulled that off?" Duo asked with an affectionate gaze for his best friend.

Duo was always so kind. And therein lie the real problem with trying to make the switch. Relena was sure her relationship with Dorothy could withstand Relena stealing her boyfriend – frankly Relena thought Dorothy was only invested in the relationship for the glamour of wearing Heero's jersey number, being the QB's girlfriend, and the sex. She might be less hesitant to consider it if she thought Dorothy actually loved him but Dorothy said enough times that she thought high school romance was bunk. But Duo... She didn't know if she could hurt Duo that way, leaving him for his best friend.

Heero shrugged off the compliment with an embarrassed blush and Duo laughed, grabbed the cigar and stuck it in his mouth before throwing an arm over Heero's shoulders, motioning them outside with the neck of his beer.

"You're going to smoke that?" Relena asked with a nervous wince, knowing the answer as they headed towards the back of the house.

"Look babe, it's a celebration!" Duo announced, removing the cigar to do so and holding the door to the patio open for her. "Homecoming is next week and we've not lost a game yet so we deserve it, I think."

Relena decided not to argue as Dorothy laughed, placing her hands on Heero's chest and staring up at him with barely veiled lust.

"Come on Relena, it's sexy," she mused and Relena fought the urge to roll her eyes. Duo borrowed a lighter from one of the other guys already smoking out there and set his beer down to light it.

Relena cringed as she watched their men share the cigar between them and thought it would be awhile before she'd kiss either one of them, frankly. It was bad enough the repugnant smoke would be in her hair and clothes now, she didn't need it in her mouth as well.

"I feel like I need some brandy or some shit," Duo said with a grin to Heero who blew smoke through his teeth with a shrug. "Maybe we oughta put in a request with Cathy that next time she get some real high class stuff, you know? Homecoming and all."

Relena let herself be distracted by the antics going on around her. It always got like this between their boyfriends whenever they were together, making double dating somewhat difficult despite Dorothy being her best friend. It was just that Heero and Duo were so close no one else could compete. And it almost seemed silly as Heero wasn't much for words but then all of Duo's attention was directed at him anyway and he carried a private conversation between them for them both.

But Relena supposed Duo understood, at least. She doubted Duo loved her any more than she loved him and they had a good time but surely Heero came first in his world and that only made sense. Truly she was more jealous that Heero was so enraptured by Duo instead of the fact that Heero was so effectively stealing the attention of her boyfriend from her.

"Oh, Relena, let's have Trowa turn on the hot tub!" Dorothy clutched her arm, eyes shining with excitement and Relena forced herself not to sigh but she knew exactly what that look meant.

"We don't have swimsuits," she replied with a laugh, hoping to discourage her friend.

"What's wrong – do you have granny panties on or something?" Dorothy teased and threw a swath of long blond hair over her shoulder. Relena shook her head furiously, embarrassed by the accusation made right in front of her boyfriend and her crush.

"Anyway, Heero will think it's hot, hmmm?" she purred, placing a kiss on his cheek although he looked nothing short of bored by the suggestion and Duo chuckled.

"Yeah ladies. You've both got it, so ya might as well flaunt it," he encouraged as he lay a friendly elbow on Heero's shoulder, leaning forward to tweak Relena's nose with a finger. She blushed a little, embarrassed by the implication that Duo knew, even though he did.

Relena was sure if anyone actually knew that she wasn't a virgin, it might ruin her reputation, but then she figured there wasn't a person at school who didn't know Heero and Dorothy screwed and she made a decision that if she was going to attract a man like Heero then she had to have a few practice runs and there really was no one better than Duo to practice with. He was kind, gentle, patient, and he knew how to keep his mouth shut. It certainly wasn't a cornerstone of their relationship, and maybe that was the most obvious sign that they weren't really right for each other. But then they both got other benefits from the relationship – namely status, but also friendship.

"I guess," she agreed hesitantly as Dorothy squealed with excitement, finished her drink in one fell swoop, and ran off to find Trowa or Cathy for their assistance.

Heero sucked on the cigar a moment before taking it out of his mouth and studying it, turning lazy eyes to Duo and something unspoken passed between them that had Relena's brow furrowed for a moment. Not that she wasn't used to this silent communication, but her curiosity nearly always got the best of her.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "What?"

They both looked at her, broken from their indefinite stare and blinked, Duo taking back the cigar.

"Huh?"

"What was that? You guys always do that. It irritates the rest of us," she explained with a pout and Duo grinned but even Heero was smiling a little and Relena loved the sight of that smile.

"The inner workings of the male mind would crush a delicate flower like you," Duo joked. "It's for your own good."

Relena frowned at that explanation. Despite cultivating her perfect image, she hated to be thought of as naive or a 'delicate flower.'

But she didn't have to dwell long as Dorothy rejoined her with Hilde in tow and drug her off to the hot tub. She was still a little less than thrilled with this idea and as she shrugged out of her shirt self-consciously she glanced to their guys and noticed Heero and Duo were practically the only men _not_ looking at them. Instead, Duo had Heero enraptured by some tale and Relena found herself pouting in frustration.

"What's wrong?" Hilde asked as she climbed in, appraising Relena with concern. Dorothy was wrapping her hair up in a complicated bun to keep it out of the water but stopped to roll her eyes.

"Relena hates not to be the center of attention." The irritated undercurrent was still obvious despite the honey tone she used. "Cheer captain went to her head."

Her brows furrowed as she turned to Dorothy and shook her head. "That's not it!"

Dorothy looked skeptical but they both let it drop as she folded her pants and set them to the side, entering the hot tub carefully so as not to expose herself unnecessarily. There was an outburst of laughter that Relena recognized instantaneously as Duo's and she glanced back to see Heero laughing too. His smile was absolutely breathtaking, even in the low patio lighting, but the only person who ever seemed to see it was Duo.

"I just wonder what they talk about..." she mused quietly and Hilde laughed, splashing her a little and getting her attention.

"What do you _think_ boys talk about?" she asked with a leering grin and Relena blushed a shade to match her designer bra.

"Surely they wouldn't be _laughing_ ," she countered and once again Dorothy rolled her eyes.

"Well you can see what Duo thinks of _you_ in bed," she said with a cruel glint in her eyes and Relena was shocked. Sometimes she really wasn't sure what Dorothy's end game was. They were best friends, but then she could be wickedly calculating.

"Our relationship isn't like _that_ ," Relena retorted immediately.

"Oh?" The skepticism in her voice was clear. Hilde looked distinctly uncomfortable. "That's not what Heero says." There was a smug sound of triumph in her voice. "Boys tell each other _everything_."

Relena suddenly felt unsure. They'd never discussed Heero and Dorothy's sex life together and she just assumed Duo wouldn't go off bragging to Heero about what was essentially a little experimentation but then Duo also had a reputation to maintain too...

"Oh fuck off," Hilde chastised with a sharp glare towards Dorothy, trying unsuccessfully to play pacifist.

"Stay out of this," Dorothy warned dangerously. "It's not _your_ boyfriend she's trying to steal."

Relena gasped, taken aback. She certainly wasn't trying to _steal_ Heero. If he came around to her of his own volition, sure, that would be a dream come true but –

"You don't even love him," Relena said suddenly, surprising even herself as her anger mounted.

"That's _your_ assumption."

Relena was shocked. "That's what you _told_ me; what else am I supposed to assume?"

This was terrible. She really didn't want to get into this kind of argument in a public place with basically the whole cheer squad and every senior football player as witness. With a quick glance she realized Duo had abandoned her and she felt suddenly claustrophobic. She really just wanted to leave.

"And anyway, I'm not trying to steal him," she defended seriously. "I can't believe you would accuse me of that."

"So you say," Dorothy dismissed as quickly as she had accused. But the damage was done. Relena didn't want to be there any longer. She certainly hadn't had enough to drink that she couldn't drive home, having not even finished one beer, but Duo had the keys.

Relena got out without another word, toweled herself off despite Hilde's insistence she stay, and made a quick excuse for herself while she redressed. Ignoring the catcalls of the other guys as her still damp underwear created obvious spots on her shirt, she inquired as to where Duo had gone.

Trowa tipped her off that he thought he saw Duo headed upstairs and so she went in that direction, listening out for his boisterous voice. But the whole place seemed strangely absent of his presence and she began carefully peeking into doors, suddenly nervous that perhaps their lack of sex life had driven him into finding it with someone else.

Needless to say, she sure as hell didn't expect that someone else to be Heero.

In shock the doorknob slipped from her hand, the door falling open slowly upon her boyfriend and her crush, kissing in the most scandalous way she had ever seen. Heero had him pressed up against a dresser, hands running up under his shirt, exposing his abs, a knee between Duo's legs as he ground shamelessly against Duo's hips while one of Duo's hands clutched in Heero's hair, dragging him closer as the other hand worked ineffectively at his belt buckle.

Relena knew she shouldn't stare, but the whole thing was so preposterous and... and unexpected, she just couldn't tear her eyes away. Heero's mouth moved to Duo's neck and he moaned appreciatively, convincing her that this was really, truly happening. He was _enjoying_ it. Enjoying _Heero_.

But his head moved forward and he opened his eyes and in one moment of shared fear, their eyes met. Relena swallowed and prepared to run. Duo pushed Heero off to go after her.

It all made sense now. The shared looks, the private conversation, the fact that only Duo could ever make him laugh, the way Duo never pressured her for sex like most of her friends' boyfriends did. Her mind raced through so many memories of the two together as she practically flew down the stairs, careful not to trip herself – hugs that lingered maybe a moment too long, Duo throwing his arm around Heero's neck and drawing him in close, pressing his face against Heero's maybe a little too intimately, inside jokes that created shared looks a little too familiar. How had she not seen it before? How had she been _so_ blinded?

She made it all the way to the car before remembering the whole reason she'd gone up there in the first place, which was that she didn't have the keys.

"Why don't we have a little chat?"

She turned to face her so-called boyfriend, twisting the keys around a finger and he clicked open the door. Duo's smile was strained and she realized then that her heart was pounding as she opened the door, slid backwards into the driver's seat, and he walked around to passenger.

They didn't look at each other at all for a while – no words were said. The weight of the discovery was more than either of them was prepared to face.

"I'm sorry," Duo finally offered with a defeated sigh and that broke Relena's silence.

"Have you just been _using_ me this whole time?" Anger snapped in her voice and she turned to look at him, pain flashing in her eyes.

"Haven't you been using _me_ this whole time?" Duo replied honestly, not in the least defensive or angry.

She blinked and looked back down at her knees, figuring that was probably true, she just didn't think Duo knew that.

"I figured I wouldn't be hurting you if you didn't really care about me." He paused, looked like he might reach his hand out and touch hers with his fingertips but then thought better of it. "I didn't want to hurt you, you know."

Tears welled up in Relena's eyes but she realized that Duo was right. It wasn't his loss that she was feeling so deeply, it was the loss of any potential relationship with Heero. And it was silly, she knew it, and she felt stupid but ever since eighth grade she'd thought that one day she'd be with him – and now she knew beyond a doubt that was never going to happen. Not after seeing the way he kissed Duo upstairs.

"... how long?" she finally managed, though the words were weak and she didn't know why she asked because it certainly didn't change anything.

Duo sighed and played with the keys between his legs, staring down between them at the floor mat.

"A long time. Since homecoming last year. So what – almost a year?"

He was rambling a little and it made the edges of Relena's lips turn up even though they trembled and her eyes were still full of tears. He was nervous. It was cute. She reached out and touched his hand then and Duo looked up, genuinely surprised.

"It's okay, I think, I'm just..."

"I know," Duo finished for her, clearly agitated as he readjusted himself in the seat. "We're totally assholes but – you know how it is. There are certain expectations and –"

"I know," Relena offered this time, squeezing his hand a little. "I'm not really mad I just... I just really liked Heero too."

Duo laughed then and kinda ducked his head as if embarrassed.

"He is really hot, huh?"

Relena couldn't help but laugh too at Duo's blush as she wiped the lingering tears from her eyes.

"Yeah, he's really hot," she admitted, thinking of the way they kissed and how nice it must feel to be on the receiving end of that kind of intensity. "I don't know how you share him with Dorothy." Thinking of her friend left a sour taste in her mouth. If only she knew her boyfriend had been stolen long ago by another man...

But Duo's laughter cut through her agitated thoughts and she blinked at him, confused.

"I don't share," Duo admitted with no small amount of chagrin. "They've never fucked."

Relena felt her mouth fall open just slightly as she considered that. Was Duo living in a fantasy? Everyone knew of their epic exploits. There was no way he could be serious but he winked nonetheless.

"She makes it all up and Heero never bothers to correct her because he really doesn't care. The more people believe her, the better it is for our cover." He shrugged but Relena found herself feeling a bit sorry for Dorothy. At least Relena had the affection of her boyfri – former boyfriend. Dorothy really had nothing. No wonder she was so edgy thinking Relena may try to steal him. Maybe she really did care about Heero...

"But then does Heero know, you know, about us...?" she asked quietly. It was a weird position to be in. On the one hand they'd had sex so that she could hope to impress Heero one day and now on the other she was worried she would cause a wedge in his relationship with another man.

But Duo just shrugged. "Yeah he knows. I told him I was going to do it. We don't keep shit like that from each other, ya know?"

Relena cringed, sure that it was visible on her face. Heero couldn't have been pleased. But Duo just grasped her hand a little tighter.

"I just wanted to know, ya know, what it was like and anyway it's easier for him, he's always known he was gay," Duo defended a little bitterly. "You know what strict Catholics my parents are. I was raised with the idea that it's a sin and it wasn't until freshman year that I kinda let myself admit that I was bi."

"Oh Duo," Relena murmured, leaning her head on his shoulder and lacing their fingers together.

She took a moment and just listened to the sound of them breathing together. It was weird. It seemed like everything and nothing at all had changed at exactly the same time. But there were a few things that had to be sorted out still.

"So I guess it's over then?" For some reason the question sounded nervous and Relena sat up and separated from him. He grinned a little but it was forced. "I'm really glad it was you, you know, as selfish at that sounds but I guess – I just – I mean you're really… I had fun."

"It's okay, you know, if you want to keep up the charade," she offered with a small but genuine smile. Duo's face contorted into something shocked and yet strangely hopeful. "After all," she shrugged and laughed a little, "the only guy I want is dating someone else."

Duo stared down at his knees even as a big goofy grin crossed his face and he looked back up with shy eyes.

"It's okay, you can be happy," Relena offered even though a little piece of her heart twinged as she worked to give up the fantasies she'd kept so close to her heart for so long. "I mean you guys are having a year anniversary coming up, right?"

"Homecoming, yeah..." A hot blush swept Duo's face, clearly caught up in some memory. Relena was a little bit glad she didn't know when she considered how heated their kiss was.

"It's a shame you can't go together," Relena murmured thoughtfully. "I think it would be okay if –"

Her words ended abruptly with the frantic shaking of Duo's head. "No, no, no, we can't. You see the shit gay kids get? _No_."

"But no one would give you shit. We haven't lost a game all year. You're football players," she argued but Duo kept shaking his head.

"No it would be _worse_. No one would want to change in the locker room with us. We'd be harassed off the team. Just trust me on this one. As much as Heero doesn't give a shit – we can't."

There was a tapping on Duo's car window and they both jumped, surprised, and turned to see Heero as if summoned. Duo cringed a little and looked back at her.

"Did you want to go? I'm going to have to talk to him and explain things and, you know..."

"Yeah, I'm not really in the party mood any more," Relena admitted. "Will you find a way home?"

Duo nodded and handed over the keys. "Yeah. Yeah I will."

"Let him know it's okay. That I won't tell," she asked, pressing her hand on his shoulder and he nodded again.

"Thanks. You've really – you've been more understanding than you had to be. I appreciate that." His voice was serious and his eyes were sincere and she smiled, squeezing his shoulder and letting it go.

"Remember, my dress is fuchsia and I expect a matching corsage," she teased as he popped open the car door and laughed.

"Yeah yeah – I know my duties," he joked back as he got out and then leaned back in. "Be careful and get home safe, okay?"

She nodded and Duo smiled before shutting the door. A bit voyeuristically she watched as Duo glanced around and then grabbed Heero's hand. While she couldn't see Duo's face or what he said she could see Heero's face gradually becoming more relaxed and that, at least, offered her some happiness as she started the car. Maybe she couldn't be with Heero, but she could at least protect him and keep his secret.

As she backed out she dropped her eyes as Duo leaned in for a quick kiss.


End file.
